orange jello with carrots

now i realize that my credibility on this blog might have been jeopardized by a certain really real post involving pears and mayonnaise, but i can assure you that however unorthodox the inclusion of vegetables in a jello salad may seem to readers of this blog, if you just give it a chance this really will be one of the most classically delicious jellos you ever eat and a perfect side for your next roast beef dinner.


1 3-oz package orange jello, made as per instructions
1 1/3 c. grated carrot
1/2 can pineapple tidbits, drained

mix together and refrigerate. yum!

i have also heard of, although never actually experienced, this recipe without the pineapple tidbits, and topped with a layer of mayonnaise, but that seems to be taking it a little too far.

sadly, not a jell-o poke cake

but here's a picture of a similarly themed dessert me and joy made last week


we used the shortcake recipe from the better homes and gardens (plaid binder) cookbook, which, followed properly, i'm sure would have left us with a delicious way to celebrate the 4th of july. but since there was nothing delicious about the cake that we made, instead of providing the recipe here i will just leave you with the following advice:

next time want to make a short cake, and you think to yourself that it won't make a difference if you use half whole wheat flour, or if a moth flies out of the bag of whole wheat flour when you get ready to use it, or if you use sea salt instead of regular salt because you are convinced that no regular salt exists in the kitchen you are using*, or if you measure out tablespoons of baking powder instead of teaspoons, realizing your mistake when it is already too late so that all you can do is try to guess how much should be taken out until you are left with what you think the recipe actually calls for, then you probably have no business baking anything that doesn't come in a pre-mixed box, so that all you have to add is an egg, some water, and maybe a package of jell-o brand gelatin

*we did eventually find the regular salt, while making the first failed batch of whipped cream for the frosting

Call for Independence Day posts!

If that stint about poke-cake was any indication, this should be our most culinarily active holiday. Here's one family fave I'll be "making".

Creamy Beef Rollups!


1 package cream cheese
the kind of lunchmeat beef that comes pre-packaged and costs $.30 at Meijer. deli beef doesn't taste as real as the pre-packaged store brand kind, in this recipe.
1/8 tsp or less garlic powder (to taste)
dill pickle spears (optional)

Mix garlic powder into the cream cheese (yes all of it) in a bowl. Take two slices of beef (stacked atop one another), spread some garlic cream cheese down the middle, and add a pickle (if using). Roll up the slices and you have a simple delicious creamy beef rollup!

This is actually really good and I've eaten it with my family at fireworks for as long as I can remember, usually without the pickles. though i think they add a delicious crunch. I wish someone would try this simple and cheap recipe and tell me if they agree that it's really real and really good.

The best of...

The best tags of C-o-W?!:

impressed menfolk
really real American food
rotting organic matter
folklife. canned meat (?)
man-bait

I think that about sums up all anyone would ever need to know about this blog.

No more slaving away rolling batter into 2 inch balls.

Tricia and I came across this jewel of all appliances at a museum in Pittsburgh. Our troubles are over, ladies.

The menfolk will be so impressed with your pastries, they're liable to help clean up!

this dessert is realer than ypsi

two pear halves served on a lettuce leaf with a dollop of miracle whip and a sprinkling of grated cheese


i cannot personally vouch for this recipe (given to me by one of my aunts during a discussion of the food blog with various extended family members), as i have never actually tried it, and probably never will. my love of mayonnaise runs pretty deep, but i think i'd eat a tuna fish/olives and lime jello salad before i'd make this dessert

What I actually wanted to post about Velveeta®

Now that my internet/brain is working again, I thought it would only be appropriate to post the one recipe that I actually make that contains that cheesy mystery substance.

This recipe combines the spicy flavor of Italian sausage with the smooth creamy goodness of a Velveeta® sauce to achieve a homey taste reminiscent of the casseroles served by German grandmothers when they stopped feeling like making an effort. It’s like the best homemade macaroni and cheese you can imagine, with little bursts of meaty flavor to make you better appreciate the way the calming cream sauce sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Creamette Casserole

1 lb Italian Sausage
1 box (3-4 cups) elbow macaroni
1 small box Velveeta cheese
1 stick margarine
½ cup flour
milk
parmesan cheese

Cook sausage and cut it into bite-size slices. Cook macaroni, drain. Make a white sauce (roux) using 1 stick margarine, ½ cup flour, and milk, adding a little extra milk to make it thinner. Cut ½ to ¾ of the Velveeta into slices and melt into the white sauce. Put half the macaroni into a greased 9x13 pan, add half the meat and pour barely half of the cheese sauce over it. Repeat layers. Add a fairly heavy layer of parmesan cheese on the top. Cover and bake 30 min. at 350. Then uncover and bake 15 minutes.

Something I discovered while Googling images for this post: www.creamette.com