Rhubarb, fool.

This is not a recipe for rhubarb fool, though I have made that. I found it too sweet and annoying to make cream with my own sweat and tears. The following method of making rhubarb is much simpler and, in my opinion, better all around. Rhubarb is an ideal vegatable. It grows like mad, and is pretty easy to get. My mom has a wicked recipe for rhubarb cake, but that requires turning on the oven in the summer, which is just not okay. So here's what I've been doing with it:



Take 3-4 stalks of rhubarb and chop it into bite-size chunks, to make about 3 cups.
Combine 3 cups chopped rhubarb in a medium saucepan with 1/4 c. sugar. Let sit for 15 minutes, until the rhubarb has released a good amount of juice.

Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes, until it starts to thicken a little and gets soft. Let cool for two hours (or less if you're anxious and don't care.) You can store it for 2-3 days in the fridge.

Best ways to use it:
-as topping for vanilla ice cream. seriously. tart + sweet = a delcious soupy snack.

-as a base for a crazy fruit salad (I just added mandarin oranges and chomped away. It would be good with blueberries and strawberries, too.)

-as topping on some sort of shortcake or pound cake. or any pastry.

Different fruit salads, cont'd

Roasted Red Pepper & Peach Salad

It's really, really worth the effort of roasting the peppers.

Ingredients:

2 green or red bell peppers
2 large, ripe peaches, skinned and stoned

Dressing:
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 tbsp. lemon or pomegranate juice
some fresh mint or dill leaves, chopped
salt and pepper to taste

Grill peppers over flame. Place in a bag to sweat for two minutes. Peel skin off under cold water. Cut and seed peppers. Peel and cut peaches. Toss together with dressing. Serve!

Picnic hero

I can't find Suddenly Salad anywhere these days. Last summer I was able to find only the Italian flavor at the Sur-Save. Now there's nothing. What am I to do without it?! Nothing says summer like "suddenly salad"! Those succulent shells with their hidden treasure of seasoned mayo...and maybe even a fake piece of bacon! Well, here's what you do. You don't start a petition. You google it and steal from people who have already done the thinking.


Ingredients
2 cups uncooked shell pasta
4-5 peeled baby carrot, shredded or 1 large regular carrot
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
3/4 cup mayonnaise, more if desired (but NOT miracle whip)
1/2 (1 ounce) packet hidden valley ranch dressing mix
1/4 cup bacon bit (I use Hormel REAL bacon bits or pieces)
1/2 teaspoon onion powder

Directions

1. In large bowl, mix mayo, dressing mix, bacon bits, shredded carrots and onion powder. Chill while making the rest.
2. Cook pasta according to pkg. directions for pasta using the shortest alotted time. (Or cook al dente.).
3. Drain and cool.
4. Fold in pasta well. Fold in peas last, carefully.
5. Chill for several hours.
6. If needed, refresh salad with a tiny bit of mayo before serving.
7. and garnish top with more bacon bits/pieces.

carrot and pear curry salad

1 and 1/2 pound carrots
2 pears
2 Tablespoons chopped parsley
2 Tablespoons white wine vinegar
1 Tablespoon curry powder
2 teaspoons honey
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup olive oil

take a peeler and peel the carrots lengthwise so you end up with very thin carrot strips. slice the pear into very thin strips (the same as the carrots). you can use the skin of the pears if you want, or you can get rid of it. but the carrot and pear slices into a large bowl with the parsley.

in a blender, combine the white wine, curry, honey, salt and black pepper. slowly add the olive oil until it is all incorporated. you could probably just use a bowl and a whisk. a blender isn't necessary. pour the dressing on the carrots, pears, and parsley and serve right away.

mmmm!

Some unusual fruit salads

Easy but weird - - - - - - - -

Pink fruit salad

2 small cans of mandarin oranges, drained
1 16-oz. can crushed pineapple, drained
1 small jar maraschino cherries, drained and chopped
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup shredded coconut (optional)
3 cups miniature marshmallows
1 container of Cool Whip
1/3 cup of mayonnaise
1 large package cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup confectioner's sugar
Combine Cool Whip, mayonnaise, cream cheese, and sugar in a large bowl. Beat until thoroughly blended. Stir in other ingredients. Chill at least two hours before serving. Serve on a bed of lettuce with tea biscuits (or some other salty cookie). Or pack in tupperware for a summer picnic.


Delicious but complicated - - - - - -

Asian Pear and Avocado Salad with Garam Masala Syrup

For garam masala syrup
2 cups water
1/2 cup sugar
1 (2-inch-long) piece cinnamon stick
2 (1- by 1/4-inch) pieces fresh ginger, smashed
2 teaspoons green or white cardamom pods, crushed
2 teaspoons coriander seeds, crushed
10 whole black peppercorns, crushed
1/4 teaspoon dried hot red pepper flakes

For salad

2 large avocados
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 Asian pears (or another kind of firm pear, not the gushy kind)

Make syrup:
Bring all syrup ingredients to a boil in a 1-quart heavy saucepan, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Reduce heat and simmer until syrup is reduced to about 1/2 cup, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and let steep, covered, 1 hour. Pour syrup through a sieve into a bowl, throw out the solids.

Prepare salad:
Thinly slice the avocado lengthwise. Toss slices with 2 tablespoons lemon juice and salt and pepper to taste. Toss it with half of the syrup.

Core the pear and then thinly slice lengthwise. Toss pear slices with remaining 2 tablespoons lemon juice and salt and pepper to taste. Toss it with the rest of the syrup

Drain pears and avocados, saving the syrup, and arrange the slices on plates. You can use the syrup as a dressing for a lettuce/spinach salad on the side.

Call for interesting fruit salad combinations.

In my opinion, fruit salad is one of the best things about summer. I'm going to depart from the traditional cream-of-what requirements here and ask for "recipes" not containing whip cream or any sort of Jello. Just straight fruit, yo. What I'm seeking are especially interesting or unconventional combinations. What've you got? I just thought of this so I don't have my recipes with me, but I'll post them soon. I think I have one involving grapefruit and kiwi and something else. Fruit+veggie salad ideas are welcome too.

Imitation Red Lobster "Cheddar Bay" Biscuits

These biscuits are so simple, and they taste almost exactly like the ones at Red Lobster.


Ingredients:
2 c. Bisquick mix
3/4 c. milk
1/2 c. shredded cheddar
1/8 c. unsalted butter
garlic powder
onion powder
garlic salt

Preheat oven to 375. Combine Bisquick, milk, and cheddar in a mixing bowl. Do not overmix. Drop by large spoonfuls onto a greased baking pan, leaving about an inch between biscuits. Bake until just beginning to turn golden on top. While biscuits are baking, melt the butter and stir in a few liberal dashes of garlic and onion powder. When the biscuits are just beginning to turn golden, take them out of the oven and brush the top of each one with the butter mixture. Sprinkle biscuits with garlic salt, then bake until done.

Killer Artichoke Dip

I dedicate this recipe to the New York Giants.

2/3 c. mayo
12 oz. Havarti cheese, coarsely grated (or use Monterey Jack)
one 14 oz. can artichoke hearts, drained well and coarsely chopped. or, if you splurge for the kind that come in glass jars, packed in olive oil, it's extra delicious.
2 bunches of scallions (about 10), white & light green parts only, finely chopped
2 tbsp finely chopped fresh dill
Freshly ground pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, mix all ingredients together. Transfer to an oven-proof ceramic dish just large enough to hold the dip (but a glass baking pan that's actually larger than the dip works too.) Bake until heated through and bubbly, about 20 min. The dip will be very hot and tastes best when it has a little time to cool - 5-10 minutes. Serves 4-6.

Infamous Cheesy Ranch Bread

Cut a loaf of french or italian bread in half, lengthwise, and lay the halves side by side (with the non-crust part facing up).

Mix together 1 stick melted margarine, 1 tsp powdered buttermilk ranch dressing mix, and 2 tbsp. mayonnaise. Spread on both halves of bread. Top with shredded cheddar cheese. Bake at 350 degrees until melted, about 5-10 min.

Cut loaves into slices and serve.

elaine's famous potato salad

i'm a little hesitant posting this recipe, because i haven't explicitly received permission from the creator. in fact i haven't even really even discussed the exact "recipe" with the chef, but i'm pretty confident in my ability to accurately deduce it, so here goes:

elaine's famous potato salad

potatoes
apples
pineapple chunks (fresh, not canned)
mayonnaise

to put this recipe in the proper context, i guess i should explain that in hong kong almost everybody seems to love mayonnaise. it is especially popular to make "fruit salads" with mayonnaise. and apparently potatoes are considered a fruit. the school canteen makes a pretty good fruit/potato salad involving what i think is canned fruit cocktail, but its nothing compared to the salad elaine, the security guard from the dorm next door, made for some of the other kids in my program that live in her building. fortunately for me, none of the other americans seemed to feel the same way, which scored me an impromtu invitation since they figured i would be the only one capable of eating enough not to offend her. i do have to admit that even i was a little shocked at first, but the pineapple/mayo combo really does grow on you.

orange jello with carrots

now i realize that my credibility on this blog might have been jeopardized by a certain really real post involving pears and mayonnaise, but i can assure you that however unorthodox the inclusion of vegetables in a jello salad may seem to readers of this blog, if you just give it a chance this really will be one of the most classically delicious jellos you ever eat and a perfect side for your next roast beef dinner.


1 3-oz package orange jello, made as per instructions
1 1/3 c. grated carrot
1/2 can pineapple tidbits, drained

mix together and refrigerate. yum!

i have also heard of, although never actually experienced, this recipe without the pineapple tidbits, and topped with a layer of mayonnaise, but that seems to be taking it a little too far.

grandma's green salad

just in time to kick off the summer potluck season starting this memorial day, here's another essential jell-o/cool whip recipe courtesy of my great-grandma morrell, who, incidentally, did not refer to it as "grandma's green salad" but used the much less fun name of "relief society salad," paying tribute to her church women's group where she presumably discovered the recipe. whatever you call it, this is sure be a big hit at any social function this summer, secular or otherwise.

1 tub cool whip brand whipped topping (not cool whip lite)
1 small package pistachio jell-o instant pudding mix
1 can pineapple chunks
1 can fruit cocktail in light syrup
fresh sliced bananas

combine undrained pineapple chunks and fruit cocktail in a large mixing bowl, add sliced bananas and pistachio jell-o powder, stir until jell-o is completely dissolved, fold in cool whip and chill until ready to serve

*the image used in this post was taken from the wikipedia article on watergate salad, as my google image search for "grandma's green salad" did not result in an appropriate image. while grandma's green salad is similar to watergate salad in many ways, the watergate salad recipe posted on kraftfoods.com reveals several critical differences, namely the lack of bananas and the addition of marshmallows, both of which, i feel, detract from the perfect balance of flavor and texture found in my great grandmother's recipe

I like to keep my menu depression-era.

"This rich, spicy cheese spread appeared in some fashion in JofC from 1931 until the 1960s. The 1936 edition declared it 'a grand cheese spread for hot or cold sandwiches.'

Combine in a medium bowl:

One 4 oz. jar chopped pimientos, drained
1 cup mayonaisse
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp ground red pepper

Beat with a wooden spoon or an electric mixer at medium speed until blended. Add:
2 cups grated Cheddar (8 oz.)
2 cups grated Colby (8 oz.)
Beat until the consistency of cottage cheese.

Taking my cue from the 1936 edition of JofC, I served this cheese spread on a sandwich with roast beef, after frying all of it up, grilled cheese style, in a frying pan. An excellent use for those pimientos leftover from making "Build-a-Mountain".

the "family party" at grandma and grandpa's

the following three recipes were served to me at least once a month from the time i could eat solid foods until i was 11, always on sunday afternoons, always on a plastic cafeteria tray, sometimes followed by store brand vanilla ice cream in a cake-cone, and always followed by at least one grandchild being checked for a concussion after falling down the basement stairs


potato salad:

five large boiled potatoes
one cucumber
radishes
green onions

cut above ingredients into potato salad sized pieces, sprinkle with pickle juice then mix together with mayonnaise, celery salt, mustard (if you like that), milk, regular salt, etc, etc

marshmallow salad:

prepare 1 small package jello lemon pudding mix (not instant and leave out the egg yolks), then add:
2 cans fruit cocktail (drained)
2 cans mandarin oranges (drained)
1 largish package miniature marshmallows
mix well and chill in refrigerator

before serving add sliced bananas and 1/2 pint whipping cream, whipped plain (no sugar added)

ham rolls:

one bag of small white rolls
ham
iceberg lettuce (optional)
mustard and/or mayonnaise

guests assemble sandwiches at their leisure. serve with potato/marshmallow salads, on cafeteria trays if possible

friday night dinners, cerca 1990

this was my favorite meal and we ate it all of the time. it is delicious and easy, except butter beans are gross.

buy orange roughy. heat in oven at 350 degrees until flaky. liberally add lemon juice at your plate.

open box of rice-a-roni green and white noodles. follow instruction on box. serve.

open can of butter beans. heat on stove. serve

enjoy!