Thursday, December 27, 2007

Not even kidding.

I found this in a cookbook from our church in South Dakota. Thank you, Phyllis Kruiter.

Velveeta Cheese Fudge

1 lb. butter
1 lb. Velveeta cheese
1 c. cocoa
4 lb. powdered sugar
1 tbsp. vanilla
walnuts, as desired

Mix butter and Velveeta cheese; melt in microwave. Add 1 cup cocoa and 4 pounds powedered sugar. Then add vanilla and nuts. This makes 2 9x13 inch pans of fudge.

Then I did an image search, and there are lots of results. Could this actually be good? It's even on the Kraft website! The cream-of-what New Year's challenge : make and eat Velveeta Cheese Fudge, and like it. We could all do it on the same day (or in the same week) and blog our reactions. Eh?

Raiding Mom's recipe closet

The pictures should speak for themselves. Click for larger images.







Saturday, December 15, 2007

Now available everywhere books are sold!

The Joy of NOT Cooking

by Snaggle Tooth



For Snaggle Tooth, busy lady, serial blogger, and budding librarian, cooking for loved ones is a burden that cramps her style and stifles the warmth that is the heart of family life. It's a chore to be avoided like the Black Death. In this irresistible kitchen companion, she invites you to rediscover the pleasures and rewards of ignoring the whole cooking process. She shares crowd-pleasing ideas for everything from a Tuesday-night TV dinner to a showstopping special-occasion one-dish meal, including breakfast dishes (Quaker Peaches 'n Cream Instant Oatmeal) , cocktail nibbles (cheddar cheese slices), main-dish salads (Bacon & Ranch Suddenly Salad) , soups from concentrate, and stews (throw it in a pot and let it sit!), irresistible breads (the pre-sliced kind!) and unforgettable desserts (did I just eat a cup of chocolate chips?). Satisfying dishes include Tuna Casserole, boxed frozen Pierogies, Spaghetti with tomato sauce, French Bread Pizza, and Mac 'n Cheese with hot dogs. To make time in the kitchen more productive, Snaggle includes notes on multi-tasking for every recipe. Especially useful are "Potatoes while painting your nails", "Turkey Tetrazzini and Tae Bo" and "Goulash while going to see The Golden Compass". In addition, an invaluable chapter on creating a "Homemade Pantry" explains how to buy and stock such staples as Cream of Mushroom Soup, French fried onions, no-boil lasagne, and canned mandarin oranges.

Snaggle's skill as a non-cooker and her warm enthusiasm for loafing shine through in each and every hastily written recipe, designed to inspire anyone looking to subvert the idea that good cooking is what makes a house a home. Vibrantly illustrated by Dan Awesome(click to see example!), The Joy of NOT Cooking brings the pleasure of avoidance and sloth back into the modern kitchen.

xx crossposted to snaggletoooth xxx

Monday, December 10, 2007

Congealed cocktail

from the 2006(?) edition of Joy of Cooking:

Broth on the Rocks

A salty-sweet refresher with a beautiful tangerine color. Be sure the broth is not too rich in gelatin, or it may congeal. For each serving, combine equal quantities of:
Chicken broth or beef consomme
Tomato juice
Orange juice

Pour over ice cubes and add:
A squeeze of lemon juice


And now a holiday beverage for those of us who aren't 97 years old, or who require vegan drinks:
Across the globe, there are very few people who take Christmas as seriously as the Germans do. Germans gave us the Christmas tree (Tannenbaum), the advent calendar, and Silent Night. Unfortunately, they also gave us...fruitcake. Perhpas in recognition of the dyspepsia often caused by ingesting rocklike fruitcake, Germans have also given us another holiday tradition: Glühwein, "glow wine" - their version of mulled wine. Grandmother's punch (Großmutters Punsch) is an elaboration of tradional glow wine, which is nothing more than heated red wine with cinnamon, lemon, sugar, and cloves. Rich, smooth, and strong, this very special punch is traditionally served at midnight on Christmas Eve.

Serves 12

1 cup packed brown sugar
25 whole cloves
25 allspice berries
1 cinammon stick
2 vanilla beans, finely chopped
2/3 cup loose black tea
Two 750 ml bottles red wine
1/2 cup dark rum

In a large pot, combine the sugar, spices, and vanilla beans with 4 cups of water. Bring to a boil and cook over high heat, stirring frequently, about 5 minutes or until half the liquid has evaporated and teh remainder is syrupy. Remove from the heat, stir in the tea, and allow to steep for 10 minutes. Strain the mixture through a fine-mesh sieve into another large pot and stir in the red wine and rum. Warm over medium heat until steaming, about 7 minutes. Serve warm, garnishing each glass with a cinammon stick stirrer, or chilled, over ice.



-Punsch recipe from Hot Toddies by Christopher B. O'Hara. New York : Clarkson Potter, 2002. This book has nice pictures. I recommend.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Gifts for the homemaker

I heard about these two books through Neighborhood Librarian, and thought it necessary that the widespread readership of this blog know about them:

Esquire's Handbook for Hosts

"Complete with everything from directions on how to stock the bar to tips on making conversation to hilarious party games and 400 delightful and useful period illustrations, Esquire's Handbook for Hosts is a delightful reminder that even the most hopeless host can give a terrific party, whether it's New Year's Eve 1949 or 1999."

Sitcom Style : Inside America's Favorite TV Homes

"[The author] fixes famous television homes on the page like a photo album annotated with insider trivia. She divides five decades of hit shows into eight categories, like "Home Sweet Home" ("Leave It to Beaver," "The Brady Bunch" "The Cosby Show"); "Single and Sassy" ("The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "Friends," "Sex and the City"); "Honey, I'm Home" ("I Love Lucy," "Mad About You"); and "Fashionable Fantasy" ("I Dream of Jeannie" and "The Flintstones").

She puts each program in cultural context to show how social trends in America guided the story lines and how set designers shaped the interior spaces to send class messages. "

Diana?!?!

Stay tuned for the grossest cocktail recipe ever, courtesy of Joy of Cooking. One word: chicken stock.

Monday, November 19, 2007

beef, black bean and sweet potato casserole

easy and delicious.

1 lb lean ground beef
1 (8 oz) can of tomato sauce
1 T chili powder
1 t ground cumin
1/2 t salt
1 (15 oz) can black beans, drained
2 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
2 plum tomatoes
1 large green chile (jalapeno) seeded and chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
1 C shredded cheddar cheese

+ preheat oven to 350F.
+ grease a 21/2 or 3 quart baking dish
+ brown the beef in a medium skillet over medium heat until no longer pink (but not completely cooked). drain and discard any fat.
+ stir in the tomato sauce, chili powder, cumin, and salt.

+ spread the bean in an even layer in the prepared baking dish.
+ layer the potatoes over the beans
+ sprinkle with the tomaotes, chili and onion. spread the beef mixture over the vegetables

+ cover and back for 45 minutes. uncover, top with the cheese and bake for 15 more minutes.

yeah. delicious.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Attempt #2




See post below for commentary.

Here's the thing.

Es que I don't make any food that isn't vegetarian. So every recipe I care about flaunts its meatlessness by substituting things like spinach and black beans and sweet potatoes. Hence, not fit for this blog. So instead of posting an actual recipe, I have decided to post pictures of scary children eating unappetizing things.





Enjoy!

Beer Battered Cod

I like this recipe because, other than the fish, normally all of the ingredients are in the house.

Ingredients:


1 egg
1 cup flour
1 1/2 cups beer
1 t garlic powder
1/2 t pepper
1/2 t salt
1 lb cod (or similar fish)
2 cups crushed corn flakes
1 t cajun seasoning
enough vegetable or canola oil to adequately fry

+ mix together in a medium bowl egg, flour, beer, garlic powder, salt and pepper
+ in a different bowl/plate mix the corn flakes and cajun seasoning
+ dip the cod in the wet ingredients, and then in the dry.
+ heat oil to 350F or until it seems hot enough - i don't have a thermometer
+ fry the cod until its golden brown and starts to get flaky.

i ate this in sandwich form. i made lemon-y garlic bread (mix together butter, garlic and a little lemon rind - spread on bread, wrap in tinfoil and bake for like 15 min) and then ate it with tartar sauce and it was delicious.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

It's all about mood.


Via design*sponge, some polaroids that might capture the hearts of those who like to reminisce about things like chicken a la king and pimento spreads.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Edible (?) Mashup

A guest post from Dan. He also wanted to mention that you can basically use any kind of canned vegetable for this. It's all about using what's been sitting in your cupboard for way too long collecting dust (or, you know, buying really cheap nasty canned foods):

"I created this as a way of getting a filling meal in little time, with no necessary trips to the grocery store. The most recent version went as follows:

1 can sliced carrots
1 can corn
2 cans grean peas
2 cans whole new potatoes
1 can roast beef
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can turkey gravy
1 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp garlic powder
salt, pepper to taste

Throw everything together in a pot and heat over medium high heat, stirring often." When hot, eat.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Miss Know it All


"Virtually everyone enjoys a crisply ironed dress shirt, clean sheets on a well-made bed, and a savory home-cooked meal. Yet housekeeping today stands as a somewhat neglected, if not maligned, job. But as author Cheryl Mendelson points out in Home Comforts, keeping house well can be a rewarding position--it allows you to provide for the physical and emotional comfort of loved ones. It's also not an easy job--there's much to be learned about properly managing a home, and Mendelson has set out to provide a guide to doing just that.

Mendelson, a homemaker, lawyer, and mother, learned about housekeeping from an early age from her grandmothers, one Appalachian, the other Italian. The two grandmothers taught her that although different ways of keeping house can be appropriate, there are generally smarter, faster, and more creative ways of housekeeping that make it less of a chore and more of an art. In a practical, authoritative tone, Mendelson discusses the ins and outs of homemaking, such as washing dishes, recommended cleaning methods for various surfaces, housekeeping for those with pets or allergies, and emergency preparedness and safety procedures.

Mendelson's well-researched book includes meticulous sections on food (for example, which foods belong in the fridge versus the pantry, food storage times, picking the freshest fruits and vegetables, and keeping your kitchen and food sanitary) as well as laundry (caring for various fabrics, how to read--and read between the lines of--clothing care labels, and removing stains). Mendelson covers a lot of ground, and as she herself points out, readers shouldn't feel required to do everything mentioned in the book--simply pick the activities that seem appropriate for your particular home. This is a comprehensive reference book that should serve homemakers well and induce a greater appreciation for the effort and specialized knowledge that go into keeping house."

Friday, September 21, 2007

elaine's famous potato salad

i'm a little hesitant posting this recipe, because i haven't explicitly received permission from the creator. in fact i haven't even really even discussed the exact "recipe" with the chef, but i'm pretty confident in my ability to accurately deduce it, so here goes:

elaine's famous potato salad

potatoes
apples
pineapple chunks (fresh, not canned)
mayonnaise

to put this recipe in the proper context, i guess i should explain that in hong kong almost everybody seems to love mayonnaise. it is especially popular to make "fruit salads" with mayonnaise. and apparently potatoes are considered a fruit. the school canteen makes a pretty good fruit/potato salad involving what i think is canned fruit cocktail, but its nothing compared to the salad elaine, the security guard from the dorm next door, made for some of the other kids in my program that live in her building. fortunately for me, none of the other americans seemed to feel the same way, which scored me an impromtu invitation since they figured i would be the only one capable of eating enough not to offend her. i do have to admit that even i was a little shocked at first, but the pineapple/mayo combo really does grow on you.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Reprise: awesomeness from my mayo jar.

UPDATE: I made this last night and it was AWESOME! First of all, it is totally meatloaf-kind-of-fun to smear a mixture of mayo and parmesan onto raw chicken and then roll it in bread crumbs. Secondly, that's basically the only effort this recipe requires, other than remembering to take it out of the oven. Thirdly, that was some effin' moist bird flesh. So tender and delicious! Highly recommended, and so perfect for those who believe in mayonnaise.



PARMESAN CRUSTED CHICKEN

Serves: 4
Prep Time: 10 Minute(s)
Cook Time: 20 Minute(s)


1/2 cup Hellmann's® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (about 1-1/4 lbs.)
4 tsp. Italian seasoned dry bread crumbs


Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 425°.
2. In medium bowl, combine Hellmann's® or Best Foods® Real Mayonnaise and cheese. On baking sheet, arrange chicken. Evenly top with mayonnaise mixture, then sprinkle with bread crumbs.
3. Bake 20 minutes or until chicken is thoroughly cooked.

If this tastes good, I think it might just be the easiest baked chicken recipe EVER.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

easy (and delicious) key lime pie

crust:
3/4 C finely crushed cinnamon graham crackers
1/8 C powdered sugar
3.5 T melted butter

mix all together and press into a pie pan. it helps if you have a second pie pan to press down on to the crust to get it even all the way around. bake at 300 for 10 min. let cool

filling:
4 large egg yolks
1 14oz can of sweetened condensed milk
1/2 C key lime juice
2 t of grated lime rind

beat the eggs until fluffy and light yellow (but don't over beat them, or else the filling gets too thick, or something) add the sweetened condensed milk and blend together. add half of the lime juice and blend until it is fully incorporated. add the other half of the lime juice and the lime rind. blend until it is all mixed together well - pour into the cool graham cracker crust and bake for 12 min at 350. serve cold with cool whip.



my pie wasn't served with this much class. and it didn't have all those limes behind it.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

well-fed hiatus

Oh geez, ladies! I've been so busy busy busy lately, I haven't had time to post any recipes on cream-of-what! So busy was I, in fact, that I had to learn how to make...

Busy Day Casserole


1 1/2 lb Ground beef
1 tb Oil
1/2 c Onion; chopped
4 oz Sliced mushrooms; drain
12 oz Whole kernel corn; drain
1 cn Tomato soup
1/2 ts Garlic powder
Salt & pepper to taste
8 oz Medium egg noodles
1 c Cheddar cheese; grated

In large skillet, add oil, and onion. Saute until tender. Add ground beef. Stir to brown. Drain off fat. Add mushrooms, corn and soup. Mix well. Season to taste. Cook noodles in salted water; drain. Mix noodles, meat and 1/2 cup cheese. Spoon into 2 quart casserole. Sprinkle remaining cheese on top. Bake at 350~ for 30 minutes.

OR, if you're really busy, you can use the method that Justin mentioned when he was enlightening me to the existence of this dish:

Already-cooked ground beef, a can of tomatoes, a can of corn, and egg noodles are combined in a skillet and simmered on the stovetop. no frills like cheese and actual baking - now that's busy.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

orange jello with carrots

now i realize that my credibility on this blog might have been jeopardized by a certain really real post involving pears and mayonnaise, but i can assure you that however unorthodox the inclusion of vegetables in a jello salad may seem to readers of this blog, if you just give it a chance this really will be one of the most classically delicious jellos you ever eat and a perfect side for your next roast beef dinner.


1 3-oz package orange jello, made as per instructions
1 1/3 c. grated carrot
1/2 can pineapple tidbits, drained

mix together and refrigerate. yum!

i have also heard of, although never actually experienced, this recipe without the pineapple tidbits, and topped with a layer of mayonnaise, but that seems to be taking it a little too far.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

sadly, not a jell-o poke cake

but here's a picture of a similarly themed dessert me and joy made last week


we used the shortcake recipe from the better homes and gardens (plaid binder) cookbook, which, followed properly, i'm sure would have left us with a delicious way to celebrate the 4th of july. but since there was nothing delicious about the cake that we made, instead of providing the recipe here i will just leave you with the following advice:

next time want to make a short cake, and you think to yourself that it won't make a difference if you use half whole wheat flour, or if a moth flies out of the bag of whole wheat flour when you get ready to use it, or if you use sea salt instead of regular salt because you are convinced that no regular salt exists in the kitchen you are using*, or if you measure out tablespoons of baking powder instead of teaspoons, realizing your mistake when it is already too late so that all you can do is try to guess how much should be taken out until you are left with what you think the recipe actually calls for, then you probably have no business baking anything that doesn't come in a pre-mixed box, so that all you have to add is an egg, some water, and maybe a package of jell-o brand gelatin

*we did eventually find the regular salt, while making the first failed batch of whipped cream for the frosting

Monday, July 2, 2007

Call for Independence Day posts!

If that stint about poke-cake was any indication, this should be our most culinarily active holiday. Here's one family fave I'll be "making".

Creamy Beef Rollups!


1 package cream cheese
the kind of lunchmeat beef that comes pre-packaged and costs $.30 at Meijer. deli beef doesn't taste as real as the pre-packaged store brand kind, in this recipe.
1/8 tsp or less garlic powder (to taste)
dill pickle spears (optional)

Mix garlic powder into the cream cheese (yes all of it) in a bowl. Take two slices of beef (stacked atop one another), spread some garlic cream cheese down the middle, and add a pickle (if using). Roll up the slices and you have a simple delicious creamy beef rollup!

This is actually really good and I've eaten it with my family at fireworks for as long as I can remember, usually without the pickles. though i think they add a delicious crunch. I wish someone would try this simple and cheap recipe and tell me if they agree that it's really real and really good.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The best of...


The best tags of C-o-W?!:

impressed menfolk
really real American food
rotting organic matter
folklife. canned meat (?)
man-bait

I think that about sums up all anyone would ever need to know about this blog.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

No more slaving away rolling batter into 2 inch balls.

Tricia and I came across this jewel of all appliances at a museum in Pittsburgh. Our troubles are over, ladies.

The menfolk will be so impressed with your pastries, they're liable to help clean up!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

this dessert is realer than ypsi

two pear halves served on a lettuce leaf with a dollop of miracle whip and a sprinkling of grated cheese


i cannot personally vouch for this recipe (given to me by one of my aunts during a discussion of the food blog with various extended family members), as i have never actually tried it, and probably never will. my love of mayonnaise runs pretty deep, but i think i'd eat a tuna fish/olives and lime jello salad before i'd make this dessert

Monday, June 4, 2007

What I actually wanted to post about Velveeta®

Now that my internet/brain is working again, I thought it would only be appropriate to post the one recipe that I actually make that contains that cheesy mystery substance.

This recipe combines the spicy flavor of Italian sausage with the smooth creamy goodness of a Velveeta® sauce to achieve a homey taste reminiscent of the casseroles served by German grandmothers when they stopped feeling like making an effort. It’s like the best homemade macaroni and cheese you can imagine, with little bursts of meaty flavor to make you better appreciate the way the calming cream sauce sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Creamette Casserole

1 lb Italian Sausage
1 box (3-4 cups) elbow macaroni
1 small box Velveeta cheese
1 stick margarine
½ cup flour
milk
parmesan cheese

Cook sausage and cut it into bite-size slices. Cook macaroni, drain. Make a white sauce (roux) using 1 stick margarine, ½ cup flour, and milk, adding a little extra milk to make it thinner. Cut ½ to ¾ of the Velveeta into slices and melt into the white sauce. Put half the macaroni into a greased 9x13 pan, add half the meat and pour barely half of the cheese sauce over it. Repeat layers. Add a fairly heavy layer of parmesan cheese on the top. Cover and bake 30 min. at 350. Then uncover and bake 15 minutes.

Something I discovered while Googling images for this post: www.creamette.com

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I'm reading a book right now called, "The Short Life and Long Times of Mrs. Beeton, The First Domestic Goddess." It's a biography about this woman named Beeton who is kind of like the Betty Crocker of the UK. She wrote a book called Beeton's Book of Household Management that's been around since 1865 or so, and its like THE book in the UK of how to take care of your home. The author of this book explains, "Beeton's Book of Household Management was in everyone's kitchen, of course, either as a newish wedding present or a handed-down heirloom to be consulted sporadically when you wanted to know how to get grease stains out of ribbon or the best way to make rice pudding." No one ever thought that Mrs. Beeton was a real person. They all thought that she was made up by some company to sell more books under the pretense that a middle aged housewife was giving you advice, much like how Betty Crocker was a completely made up woman. BUT in 1932 they discovered that she WAS a real person when her grandson donated a picture of her to some sort of portrait gallery in the UK. three biographies of Mrs. Beeton have already been written, the last one published in 1977.

The author of this new book, Kathryn Hughes, decided to write a new biography because she believes that the time is right for a new biography to be published. I think this part is interesting. She says, "This desire to retreat to a safe space, a place outside the public and political order (or disorder), has never been so urgent than during the first few years of this new century. On both sides of the Atlantic the television schedules are saturated with programmes explaining how to tinker and freshen our experience of everyday living. Just as the mid-Victorians imagined the middle-clas home as a refuge from the perils of capitalism, with all its jostling competition and sudden threats, so 150 years later we have retreated form the terror of the world beyond our front door to a small pocket of space where we assume the consoling powers of gods."

so. this isn't a recipe, but it IS some food-for-thought. ha!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

grandma's green salad


just in time to kick off the summer potluck season starting this memorial day, here's another essential jell-o/cool whip recipe courtesy of my great-grandma morrell, who, incidentally, did not refer to it as "grandma's green salad" but used the much less fun name of "relief society salad," paying tribute to her church women's group where she presumably discovered the recipe. whatever you call it, this is sure be a big hit at any social function this summer, secular or otherwise.

1 tub cool whip brand whipped topping (not cool whip lite)
1 small package pistachio jell-o instant pudding mix
1 can pineapple chunks
1 can fruit cocktail in light syrup
fresh sliced bananas

combine undrained pineapple chunks and fruit cocktail in a large mixing bowl, add sliced bananas and pistachio jell-o powder, stir until jell-o is completely dissolved, fold in cool whip and chill until ready to serve

*the image used in this post was taken from the wikipedia article on watergate salad, as my google image search for "grandma's green salad" did not result in an appropriate image. while grandma's green salad is similar to watergate salad in many ways, the watergate salad recipe posted on kraftfoods.com reveals several critical differences, namely the lack of bananas and the addition of marshmallows, both of which, i feel, detract from the perfect balance of flavor and texture found in my great grandmother's recipe

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The jackpot of classic ads.


I was looking at a Life magazine from 1946 because there's an article about a steel worker's strike in Homestead. However, I of course got sidetracked by the crazy ads and other features. There's one about a church social and how Heinz ketchup "is man-bait". ("say the teenage girls who usually get the job of setting the table and acting as waitresses at the church suppers. They hope that all the good eats will put the boys in a fine humour, make them willing to help with the washing-up after supper"). My excitement about this lead me to adclassix.com, where you can browse by category. The link is to the grocery section, which is most pertinent for this blog.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Frito Pie

About three weeks ago I had my first Frito Pie. Down here in the borderlands, Frito Pie is sold at many roadside stands, at carnivals and fairs, and yes, it is even served as the entree in school lunches.

In summer 2006, Miss Diana and I often fantasized about how great it was going to be eating school lunch when I became a teacher. I was genuinely looking forward to this because I love all food, and I especially loved school lunch as a child. Sometimes I would pretend I didn't like it, because all the cool kids made faces at the pizza casserole and said the cheese tasted like plastic and that the hot dogs were floating in duck pee. But really, I loved and relished it.

Now I'm confronted with the grim reality of school lunch. It is almost without fail, really gross. And causes me digestion issues during 5th period that are potentially embarrassing. But I am with school lunch the same way Marlowe is with omelettes. So on the rare occasion that I forget to bring a lunch, I get excited about buying school lunch, and then as soon as I have it I can't eat it because it is so so bad.

This is getting unnecessarily long so I will skip to the punch. I ate Frito Pie for lunch, and this is what it was:

A bag of Fritos, slit on the side of the bag to form a sort of bowl/pouch.
Chili (with beef and pinto beans) poured into bag
Nacho cheese sauce poured into bag
Served with a plastic fork

It was................delicious. Not really delicious, but the novelty of eating it right out of the Frito bag made it delicious. I may be wrong but I don't think this taste sensation exists all over the United States and I think it could be a viable business opportunity if the whole grad school/Fullbright bullshit doesn't work out for y'all. Granted, the Frito pie did give me a near instant case of diarrhea, but it was temporary and easily forgotten.

Because you eat it right out of the bag guys.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

V for Velveeta®

My mother came for a visit and brought with her a free magazine she obtained by signing up somewhere on a Kraft foods website. It has lots of recipes with handy shortcuts for the busy stay-at-homer, like sauteeing chicken in italian dressing instead of taking the time to marinate it. Because I didn't have the time to scan or digitize any of these recipes, I thought I would simply direct you to the Kraft Food Service website, where you can search for recipes by ingredient. I searched by "Velveeta" and got the following recipes. The results have images that pop up when you mouseover the name!

Bacon Sauce with VELVEETA®
Bacon Cheddar Mashed Potatoes
Baked Potato Soup
Beef Salsa Soup
Beer Dip with VELVEETA®
Bistro Tuna Salad 'N Cheddar Bagel
Broccoli Cheese Strata
Cajun Corn Muffins
Carrots Au Gratin
Cheesy Bacon Grits
Cheesy Bacon Omelet
Cheesy Broccoli Soup

This post does not imply the author's support or endorsement of Kraft Foods, Inc., Velveeta®, or any related websites.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Pancakes, topped with a generous serving of -isms.



"Freedom from Want is important not only for the abundance it portrays, but for the social and familial relations it conveys. Whether or not consciously understood, the "traditional" manner of eating has meant in part that family meals are organized according to gender-specific roles: men as presiders and presenters, women as coordinators and servers. During the war, media depictions of bountiful meals with women as servers and cooks connoted stability to many Americans, in large part because the images reinforced the status quo of traditional gender roles. By masking the significant social changes occuring in society as a result of the war, Freedom from Want and similar illustrations not only were icons of abundance during a time of restricted consumption, but also functioned to naturalize gender and racial heirarchy. The image of the ordered meal unquestioningly promoted the long-held assumption that women, as wives, mothers, and domestics, would serve nutritious and abundant meals for their families, despite the fact that more and more women were involved in work outside their homes as "Rosie the Riveters" or in other, more traditionally feminine kinds of work, both voluntary and paid. Although African-Americans were for the first time moving out of their prescribed and oppresive places in society - particularly black women leaving domestic service in droves for better-paying jobs- they were commonly portrayed as the preparers and servers of the ordered meal, images that in part conveyed a desire to maintain race segregation and domination. Media representations of the Southern kitchen, featuring black "mammy" figures contentedly cooking and serving, assuaged some Americans' anxieties about the defection of a black domestic workforce lured by the prospect of employment in higher-status war jobs."

from Bentley, Amy. "Islands of Serenity: Gender, Race, and Ordered Meals during World War II" in Food in the USA: a reader.

From www.auntjemima.com:
The Aunt Jemima brand has been around for over 100 years and continues to stand for warmth, nourishment and trust -- qualities you'll find in loving moms from diverse backgrounds who care for and want the very best for their families.

1889 : Chris Rutt and Charles Underwood of the Pearl Milling Company developed Aunt Jemima, the first ready mix.
1890 : R.T. Davis purchased the struggling Aunt Jemima Manufacturing Company. He then brought the Aunt Jemima character to life when he hired Nancy Green as his spokeswoman.
1914 : The image of Aunt Jemima was so popular that the company was renamed the Aunt Jemima Mills Company.
1926 : The Quaker Oats Company purchased the Aunt Jemima Mills Company.
1933 : For the Chicago World’s Fair in 1933, the advertising planners decided to bring the Aunt Jemima character back to life. They hired Anna Robinson, described as a large, gregarious woman with the face of an angel. She traveled the country promoting Aunt Jemima until her death in 1951.
1937 : Quaker’s first registration of the Aunt Jemima trademark occurred in April, 1937.
1955 : From the mid 1950’s until the late 1960’s Aylene Lewis was hired to portray Aunt Jemima at the Aunt Jemima restaurant in the newly opened Disneyland.
1957 : Quaker introduced Aunt Jemima Buttermilk Pancake & Waffle Mix. Also at this time, Quaker began to advertise on television, showing kids and moms making not just pancakes but, “Aunt Jemimas”.
1966 : Quaker introduced syrup under the Aunt Jemima trademark and used the campaign, “Aunt Jemima, what took you so long?”.
1981 : Quaker began a campaign for frozen products, “Just Like Mommy Makes.” The campaign ran for four years.
1989 : In 1989, the image of Aunt Jemima was updated by removing her headband and giving her pearl earrings and a lace collar.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Community cookery & feedback

I hope I'm not the first to actually make use of this blog in the kitchen, but if I am, what is everyone else waiting for (other than for Joy to get back...diana...)?!

I must confess to having sinned slightly. I got sick of having meat-centric meals everynight, so I went quasi-vegetarian for a week. Consequently, Claire's chicken enchiladas were filled with sauteed zuccini, red peppers, corn (canned), and black beans (also canned). But, as you can see, I didn't skimp on the cheese, so this dish still belongs here. The cream of chicken soup and salsa mixture is delicious and ingenious. I love it when my only dishes leftover from preparation are a line of empty cans/jars, and one giant mixing bowl.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

taking it there

rice crispy treats:

one box kellogg's rice krispies, or off brand crispy rice cereal
two 10 oz. bags mini marshmallows
two sticks butter or margarine

melt margarine in a large saucepan, add marshmallows and stir until completely melted
remove from heat, add rice krispies, press into a 9x13 pan, let cool, cut into treat-sized squares

the best part about making this recipe as an adult is that you have complete control over how much of the melted marshmallow/rice mixture you actually pour into the pan as directed, and how much you leave in the saucepan to be eaten directly off the spatula. you're also free to bring the saucepan with you out of the kitchen and into the living room, eating the unformed rice cripsy mix off your lap while you watch reruns of the wonder years

Monday, April 16, 2007

I like to keep my menu depression-era.

"This rich, spicy cheese spread appeared in some fashion in JofC from 1931 until the 1960s. The 1936 edition declared it 'a grand cheese spread for hot or cold sandwiches.'

Combine in a medium bowl:

One 4 oz. jar chopped pimientos, drained
1 cup mayonaisse
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 tsp ground red pepper

Beat with a wooden spoon or an electric mixer at medium speed until blended. Add:
2 cups grated Cheddar (8 oz.)
2 cups grated Colby (8 oz.)
Beat until the consistency of cottage cheese.

Taking my cue from the 1936 edition of JofC, I served this cheese spread on a sandwich with roast beef, after frying all of it up, grilled cheese style, in a frying pan. An excellent use for those pimientos leftover from making "Build-a-Mountain".

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Missing in action.


My eternal favorite Jell-O product has always been "Americana" custard. In high school I could eat half a serving bowl of it, especially if it had been dusted with nutmeg (always) and had developed a layer of skin from sitting in the fridge. Delicious. However, those days are over. They don't carry it at my grocery store here, and I haven't been able to find it anywhere. I've resorted to the flan sold in the "mexican" aisle, but I think it's time to rely on that trusty old tome, JofC.

Rich Custard
6-8 servings

Combine in a medium saucepan:
3/4 cup sugar
2 tbsp cornstarch
1/8 tsp. salt

Gradually whisk in:
2 cups half and half
4 large egg yolks, well beaten
2 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into pieces

Whisking constantly, bring to a boil over medium-low heat, and boil for 1 minute. Remove from the heat and immediately stir in:
1.5 tsp vanilla

Pour into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and chill.

Whip 1/2 cup cold heavy cream until firm peaks form. Fold into the chilled custard.

I haven't tried this yet. Frankly nothing compares to a packet of power combine with milk and stirred to deliciousness. Kraft Foods, Inc., what have you done?!?

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sophisticated in appearance, not in ingredients.



Pears with Chantilly Cream

Ingredients: Canned pear halves, Cool Whip, vanilla pudding, almond extract.

I will leave it up to you to decide how much of this dessert to make, but think along the lines of three pear halves per person. Drain the pears, and arrange them in a pretty dish. The chantilly cream is really easy....your vanilla pudding (get a 4 pack...it works better than making the instant pudding yourself) to Cool Whip ratio should be 7:4 (example = 14 ounces of pudding, 8 ounces of Cool Whip) and
add almond extract to taste (with 14 oz. of vanilla pudding, you should add about 1 tsp. almond extract).

Dollop cream onto pears, and GARNISH with slivered almonds and fresh raspberries. This is important, because it takes the dessert from drab to fab. Other seasonal berries are acceptable, but not preferred.

This dessert impresses everyone and it takes about 5 minutes to concoct.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

"Build-a-mountain"


This is one of my family classics that I recently dug out of the recesses of my memory and plopped onto our dinner plates. It seems like a really gross combination of ingredients until you try it. Trust me. Note, however, that it is essential to include as many of the ingredients as possible to achieve the desired taste chemistry. The way my family set up the "buffet" was to put bowls of each ingredient in a row on the counter. Each one had a piece of paper with a rhyme to go along, explaining which part of the "mountain" the topping was to represent. Example: coconut is the snow, chow-mein noodles are...trees? okay it made sense when I was a kid, but the most important part is that you end up with a delicious mountain of food on your plate. My sister and I would be in charge of putting easy things in bowls and writing the directions (in crayon), complete with illustrations and arrows so as to keep any diners (our grandparents) from wandering the wrong way around the buffet and ending up with an inverted mountain. This is an essential recipe for this site, since it includes both cream of mushroom AND cream of chicken...in their purest form!

INGREDIENTS (recipe serves 8-ish)
2 cups uncooked long-grain rice
1 can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup
some milk (about a cup?)
chow mein noodles
3 tomatoes, sliced
1 cup chopped celery
(1/2 cup chopped green bell pepperl)
(1/2 cup chopped green onions)
1 (20 ounce) can pineapple chunks, drained
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese
(1/2 cup slivered almonds)
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1 tbsp diced pimentos, drained

DIRECTIONS

Make rice. It might be prudent to have all your toppings chopped or set out beforehand if you don't have a family of helpers to do it for you.

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine chicken and mushroom soup concentrates with pimentos. Mix well and heat a little, then add enough milk to not make it totally disgusting that you're eating condensed soup. Basically you want it to have the consistency of pudding, not soup. Stir until heated through.

On each plate layer cooked rice, sauce, tomato, (other optional vegetables), pineapple, celery, cheese, chow mein noodles, and coconut. Every bite tastes different!

(The picture comes from a site with a recipe that is inferior to mine, as it has the pimentos on top instead of doing their proper job flavoring the sauce)

Thursday, April 5, 2007

the "family party" at grandma and grandpa's

the following three recipes were served to me at least once a month from the time i could eat solid foods until i was 11, always on sunday afternoons, always on a plastic cafeteria tray, sometimes followed by store brand vanilla ice cream in a cake-cone, and always followed by at least one grandchild being checked for a concussion after falling down the basement stairs


potato salad:

five large boiled potatoes
one cucumber
radishes
green onions

cut above ingredients into potato salad sized pieces, sprinkle with pickle juice then mix together with mayonnaise, celery salt, mustard (if you like that), milk, regular salt, etc, etc

marshmallow salad:

prepare 1 small package jello lemon pudding mix (not instant and leave out the egg yolks), then add:
2 cans fruit cocktail (drained)
2 cans mandarin oranges (drained)
1 largish package miniature marshmallows
mix well and chill in refrigerator

before serving add sliced bananas and 1/2 pint whipping cream, whipped plain (no sugar added)

ham rolls:

one bag of small white rolls
ham
iceberg lettuce (optional)
mustard and/or mayonnaise

guests assemble sandwiches at their leisure. serve with potato/marshmallow salads, on cafeteria trays if possible

Monday, April 2, 2007

Potato Insanity

This family recipe was contributed by Nicole:

1 bag (thawed in refrigerator) Ore-Ida diced hash browns (I think they are called "Southern Style Potatoes").
8 oz. Sour Cream
1 can Cream of Chicken Soup
1/2 Onion, diced
8 oz shredded cheddar cheese (or more)
1/2 stick of Butter
Potato Chips (plain)

Preheat oven to 375. In a bowl, mix the potatoes, sour cream, soup, cheese, onion, salt & pepper. Glop into pan. Roughly crush potato chips, sprinkle liberally on top. Melt the butter, drizzle over potato chip crust. Bake 30-35 min, until crust is golden and crunchy, underlayer is bubbly.

My family's version of this has corn flakes on top, but potato chips are obviously the better choice. I can't believe I've been putting them on tuna casserole all this time and never extended the deliciousness to other recipes! Also, I suggest we talk meatloaf on this blog because I made mine last week and DAMN is it good. It's been posted on someone else's blog somewhere but I think it's time to bring it up here, since there's bound to be some discord about where the ketchup goes.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Compost is for Weenies

You know how sometimes you lose track of your fruits and vegetables, only to find them in the dark corner of the crisper three months later, now with a gelatinous consistency and the pungent odor of death?

Fear no more. You can resurrect any seed or bulb-bearing food with some soil, water, and a little know-how.

Take this, for example. A nine week old onion, discovered in the potato cupboard, has been converted into a daring centerpiece:


(Sidenote: Do you like my new bonsai tree?)

Or perhaps my all time favorite, my amazing avocado tree, which is now growing bark.







It's so easy. The secret is rotting organic matter. Don't be afraid of it, and don't chuck it off your apartment balcony into the parking lot below!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Revitilization project, part 2.

So, I had kind of a hard time deciding what to write on my golden duckswan. I finally decided to just go with "Liebe", so it would make me think of "Gold und Liebe", the album by D.A.F that gets my hips whipping. However, as I knew I would, I put the e in the wrong place. This is a classic german student mistake, so of course I would mess up after thinking to myself, "Don't mess this up." The gold duckswan now reads "Limbs" or "Bodies", in dative. Maybe that's how it should have been from the beginning.

Monday, March 26, 2007

My mascot dessert.

This doesn't have Cool Whip but it does have an entire container of sour cream, which I think should count for something. This is also the story of the worst thing that has ever happened to me in the kitchen.

Required Equipment:
-Crock Pot
-SOMETHING TO STIR WITH (important).

Ingredients:
1 package chocolate cake mix
3 oz. package instant chocolate pudding mix
4 eggs (note: eggs must be stirred into mixture)
1 cup water
2 cups sour cream
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup chocolate chips

Directions:
Spray crockpot with cooking spray.
Mix the dry ingredients in one bowl, the wet ingredients in another bowl. Add the dry to the wet and beat the mixture until smooth. Add the chocolate chips last.
Cook for 6-8 hours, and serve in bowls with ice cream (cinnamon is nice).

Serves:
8-10 people

When I tried this out the first time on my roommates of First Street, I had the simplified version of the recipe that assumed that any dunce could figure out that you're supposed to mix the ingredients before cooking them. But I thought too hard and imagined some heat-activated process of diffusion, and just dumped all the ingredients in the crock pot and left it for 8 hours. I built this up like it was God's own dessert, and then when I served it there were, undeniably, chunks of fried egg in our chocolate pudding cake. My roommates politely tried to downplay how disgusting this was, but finally Tricia spit out a sizeable, slimy chunk of egg and yelled "Fuck!"

Honestly, every time I think about that, I laugh until I cry a little.

Lesson: You gotta stir it. It's delicious sans the eggy clots.

Blurry and delicious,

Justin made a two-tiered jello-poke cake for my birthday and decorated it with kiwi, blackberries, and strawberries. It was wonderful...



The combination of fruits was ideal, and the choice of jell-o (red, cherry) made for a refreshingly moist cake that tasted like the first day of spring. Or maybe it was the entire container of cool whip that served as icing. Either way, this one is a classic and may be on its way to becoming the mascot dessert of this blog. Until one of those marshmallow whip cream pineapple food coloring salads get posted, at least.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Aunt Judy


The perfect dress for peeling potatoes. Diana, this one's for you. See more at http://heidimerrick.com/collection/collection.html

Saturday, March 17, 2007

In the spirit.

Thursday was my second visit to the bar/restaurant known as Nico's Recovery Room. The first time there I ordered saganaki (it's supposed to be a Greek restaurant) and received a giant breaded mozzarella stick that was then doused in brandy and set aflame. The second time, I ordered nachos, which were listed as coming with chilis, salsa, sour cream, and cheddar. What I received was a giant plate of tortilla chips drowned in chili, and covered in cheddar cheese. That's chili like the stew, not the vegetable that makes an appropriate nacho topping. The least they could have done was include the sour cream. Despite this lack of additional dairy products, I have to say the spirit of unhealthy deliciousness is stronger at Nico's than any other bar I've been too in Pittsburgh. They're not offering any apologies for their greasy bastardized substitutions. Who would want salsa when you could have chili anyways!? Who would want authentic cheese when you could have some breaded and deep-fried over-processed mozzarella?! Not a Nico's customer, that's for sure.



The winner of the restaurant category is, of course, Ritter's Diner, where you can get a glass of buttermilk, a braunschweiger+american cheese sandwich, and succotash.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Revitilization project, part 1.

Swan (duck, whatever) from Goodwill, before:



stay tuned...

Inspiration.

Justin enlightened me about the pictorial treasures waiting to be seen at the Library of Congress' website. If you go to http://www.loc.gov, and click on "American Memory" you'll find dozens of collections housing digital images from history. So far my favorite section is "Culture and Folklife", where pictures like this one are just waiting to be found:



Yes, those are shelves of homemade preserves.

A Gringo twist on a Mexican favorite


Before I get started I just want to express how delighted I am to be a part of what I think will obviously become a bestselling cookbook, followed by a hilarious spinoff television show featuring cynical cigarette smoking stylish vulgar tom collins drinking cooks, and probably will lead to a highly successful chain of restaurants.

Here we go:

Creamy Chicken Enchiladas
1 can Cream of Chicken Soup
1 container (8 oz.) sour cream
1 cup salsa
2 tsp. chili powder
2 cups chopped cooked chicken
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
10 Flour Tortillas, warmed
1 medium tomato, chopped
1 green onion, sliced


MIX soup, sour cream, salsa, and chili powder.

MIX 1 cup of this mixture with the chicken and cheese.

SPREAD about 1/4 cup of this mixture down center of each tortilla. Roll up and place seam-side down in a baking dish. Pour the rest over the enchiladas. Add some more cheese, you know you want to. Cover with tin foil.

BAKE at 350°F. for 40 min. or until hot. Top with tomato and green onion (this is the classy part).

Guacamole! Sour Cream! Patronizing oversized sombreros! Let the fun begin!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

friday night dinners, cerca 1990


this was my favorite meal and we ate it all of the time. it is delicious and easy, except butter beans are gross.


buy orange roughy. heat in oven at 350 degrees until flaky. liberally add lemon juice at your plate.

open box of rice-a-roni green and white noodles. follow instruction on box. serve.

open can of butter beans. heat on stove. serve


enjoy!